Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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