I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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