Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
