Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
