My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
farters have to be the big spoon...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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