Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This girl is more easily done than said...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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