ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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