he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
sex in a hospital.. check
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
