it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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