you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
