Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
