Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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