dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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