did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
