Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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