It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
