At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
