I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
