whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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