so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We left an ass print on the piano.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
