i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
