People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
