so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
