I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
