conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
