A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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