You're my little dorito
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
