She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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