I'm gonna have a badass scar
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Text me some of your sweat
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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