in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
