i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
