i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
