I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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