Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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