I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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