im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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