Dual....:-)
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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