I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Bring me that man meat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
