i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
