chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They have beer where we have blood.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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