This girl is more easily done than said...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
