Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
