Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i out mim tonsoeep
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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