Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
