Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
