you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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