Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
