In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
