Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
there is glitter all over my balls
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
