Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I currently don't understand fingers.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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