Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
