I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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